To the guy who hurt me – I understand.
I understand why you said I was beautiful.
I understand why you said you had never felt this way before.
I understand why you had to run away and hide.
Connection and attraction can be scary, no matter how wonderful they are. You wanted a simple love, not the all-consuming one. Uncomplicated. The kind of love that makes you bored, not challenged. Your afternoons needed to be spent sipping tea and talking about the rain, not running through the forests talking about the mysteries of the universe.
I understood it even as I was crying on my bathroom floor, shivering. I understood it even when every word you were saying felt like a punch to my stomach. I understood it as you walked away and never looked back.
I understood because I saw the best in you.
I saw the kind, gentle and caring man I had gotten to know. I saw someone whose smile lit up the room, who was impressed by little things, who made my world a little less scary of a place, even if just for a moment.
But you see, here’s the thing: I see good in everyone. I give people hundreds of chances before I find them irredeemable. I show them empathy and kindness. I let them in and make them feel welcomed.
I thought I had seen the magic in you. But the magic – it was in me all along.