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Bittersweet Symphony

This day started with a nasty fight with my partner. Slamming the door shut and all the accompanying drama. It continued with my friend telling me he had a brain tumor. Finally, it ended with having a glass of wine in the sun with a dear friend. And we don’t get those often here (sunny days, not friends).

This day overall? It was nothing special. Just a regular day in the life. Filled with happy, sad and hurtful moments alike.

Somebody asked me the other day if I was happy. My answer was that I was perfectly unhappy. I used to think life was all about being happy, about figuring out all the things – a career, a relationship, family, friends, hobbies, looking good… until I realized it wasn’t. I used to be this person who would get overly obsessed over one thing. I used to run until I would literally pass out from tiredness. I ran until my body started giving in and injuries got me. With running gone, I realized I had nothing left. With nothing left, I focused on work. I put all the effort and it didn’t get me the result I wanted. I felt sad and betrayed. Feeling sad and betrayed, I put all the focus on my partner, making him responsible for my happiness. He started cracking under pressure and I ended – well, you’re guessing, unhappy.

Then I realized life is not about finding happiness. It’s about finding balance. Enjoying the little things. It’s about going for a run and having a beer afterward. It’s about skipping a run and going straight for a beer. It’s about staying longer at work and skipping both a beer and a run. It’s about waking up next to the person you love, slamming the door shut in their face, going for a run and falling back asleep in their arms. It’s about a phone call with your niece. It’s about laughing with your friends until your abs hurt. It’s about going through illnesses with them and nurturing them back to health.

It’s about shitty moments as well as it is about happy moments.

Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life

Published in zivot

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